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Archive for March, 2010

Éirinn Go Brách!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day from this Irish lass! 

I’ve been watching that clock all afternoon… 

I take my Irish heritage seriously, people.  My mom’s family is Irish, my dad’s family is Irish…  The Mister’s family is Scottish, so close enough…  My kids are in trouble…  But, seriously, I’m proud of my heritage.  (And it gives me a great excuse for my alcoholism…  “Eh, she’s just Irish…”)  The Mister and I even had Irish elements incorporated into our wedding…  And the ceremony was ended on the bestowing of an Irish blessing upon all the guests.  So, we love this holiday!  And it’s a serious kitchen pass to drink beer and eat my ass off.  (No anorexia for me today!)  

We always have shepherd’s pie, corned beef and cabbage, Irish cheeses and breads and, of course, tons of beer.  The corned beef is cooking now and my mouth is freaking watering.  I love corned beef, but with this damned anorexia and all keeping me from eating shit, I’m seriously salivating…  And am looking even more forward to my Irish meal than I normally am.  I fully intend to be sick from gluttony by the end of this night…

Look at my cutie patootie little Leprechauns this morning:

And just because he’s so stinkin’ cute:

Can I start drinking heavily now?  Yes, yes I can.  I waited til 4:00.  It’s St. Patrick’s Day…  And I’m IRISH.  It’d almost be blasphemy not to…  No, it would be blasphemy not to.  No vodka water for me today! 

So……  Sláinte! 

(That would be “cheers!” in Irish Gaelic…  Pronounced slaan-cheh…  Although, this picture of me is in Germany at Epcot last month…  So, if you happen to be German, Prost!) 

And I’ll end it with a couple of great Irish sayings and expressions…  Now you can go wow your friends and family with some St. Paddy’s Day jargon!  Be sure to put a good slurrrrrrrr on it, though, k? 

May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead!

May the cat eat you and the devil eat the cat!

Lá Fhéile Pádraig (That’s “St. Patrick’s Day”…  Pronounced law ae-leh paw-rig.  Wouldn’t want you mispronouncing…  Doesn’t that just roll right off the tongue???)

Pionta Guinness, le do thoil.  (“A pint of Guiness, please.”  pyunta Guinness leh duh hull)

Tabhair póg dom, táim Éireannach.  (“Kiss me, I’m Irish!”  Which on this night around the world should probably just be “kiss me because I’m drunk as hell and horny..”  Pronounced TOO-irr pogue dum, toyme AY-ron-ock)

An bhfuil tú ar meisce fós?  (“Are you drunk yet?”  Very important on St. Paddy’s Day.  on will too air mesh-ka fowss?)

Póg mo thóin!  (That would be “kiss my ass”…  Always handy to know…  Pronounced pogue muh ho-in, because that’s one important to know how to pronounce.)

And last but not least…

Tá mo bhríste trí thine!  (“My trousers are on fire!”  Because who doesn’t need to know that one?!?!  I mean, seriously.  thaw muh vreesh-tah tree hin-ah)

I’ll leave you with the Irish blessing said at our wedding:

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine

Warm upon your face,

The rains fall soft upon your fields.

And, until we meet again,

May god hold you in the palm of his hand.

And just one that I love:

Wishing you a rainbow

For sunlight after showers—

Miles and miles of Irish smiles

For golden happy hours—

Shamrocks at your doorway

Luck and laughter too,

And a host of friends that never ends 

Each day your whole life through!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, my friends.  Now go get drunk!

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No?

Seriously…  What.The.Fuck?  Now SHE definitely gets the Dumbass of the Day award in my book. 

There are just no words.

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Well, we got the estimates…

Laura’s car came to a grand total of $3200.00 and 8-10 days of a rental car.

Mine came to $520.00 and two days without a car.

She’s coming this Friday night to help me ward off the Boogie Man again.  I guarantee you she will not be parking anywhere near me…

On a brighter note:

– All the kids are over the stomach bug.  No more poop or puke to be scrubbed out of the carpet.  YAY.  That deserves a toast!

– The anorexia is really going well!  I’m down ten or so pounds.  I love being an anorexic.  Go, me!

– The Mister will be gone again (which is not so happy news in itself… I miss him when he’s gone, plus I really, really, really, really, really hate being alone…  I’m the world’s biggest wuss…,) but it means another GNI.  (That would be Girls’ Night In.)

– Spring is in the air.

On a not so brighter note:

Mema has really gone down hill in the past two or three weeks…  She can do nothing for herself…  Including potty or bathe.  Or eat.  Because she tries to eat everything with a spoon.  They caught her trying to eat potato chips out of the bag with a spoon last week.  They also found her sitting in the hallway with her legs sprawled out in front of her with nothing on but a pajama shirt and one leg in the arm of one of my uncle’s sweaters…  I don’t think they’ll be able to keep her at home much longer.  And that’s seriously sad.  My uncle can’t do it all, and as he so eloquently put it, “Nobody should have to see their mama’s cookie.” 

That’s about all I have to report today.  I’ll be back later.  After I fight Hurricane Henry down for a nap, play princess with the Princess and bounce my beautiful bouncing baby boy on my knee for a few minutes…  Then it’ll be time for a nice tall glass of the vodka and diet tonic water.

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