Not this kind anyway.
I know I’ve talked here at some point about my breastfeeding woes. I’ve not really ever been able to make it work, thanks to my damned “flat nipples.” (Sorry Mr. G… Or any dude, for that matter… If you’re reading, you may seriously want to stop here.)
As you can probably guess, “flat nipples” are not a good thing when trying to breastfeed. They are too “short” and can actually retract… It makes latching super hard… And if the baby does happen to latch, they can’t stay latched. And if they do happen to stay latched (which Tucker has somehow managed to do like a champ,) it is an improper latch. Having a mini-Hoover attached to your nipple with an improper latch can majorly destroy a nipple (which Tucker has managed to do like a champ…)
When I say “destroy” your nipple, I mean cause major issues like cracking, bleeding, sores, and actual destruction of the surface of the nipple. Which can all lead to excruciating pain, infections, permanent damage and the inability to continue breastfeeding. Not your average cracking and bleeding, so don’t start thinking, with a giant know-it-all, La Leche Leauge lovin’ grin, “Hang in there! I know it hurts in the beginning and everyone has problems at first, but it does get better! So stick it out…” Blah, blah, fucking blah… Because, let me assure you, it doesn’t get better. Not with flat nipples. It gets worse. It’s not the same as your average breastfeeding woes that you can work through with time. It just doesn’t get better.
So, as of right now, Tucker is off the boob and I am pumping. I eventually loathe that dmaned pump. (But it is a cool ass pump, it’s the new Medela Symphony, highly recommend it if you’re in the market for a milking machine.)
Night before last, Tucker (who has reflux… I was hoping we would have a non-refluxy baby this go ’round, but no such luck, poor guy…) spit up blood. Like a lot of blood. Bright red blood. Of course, we freaked out. We called my friend, Dr. C, who deals with OB and new infants and we called the on-call dr. at the pediatrician’s office. They both gave us a few possible reasons, and in those reasons, one was blood from me. From my damned cracked, bleeding nipples. They told us to watch him and if he did it again and it was the same or worse, to take him to the hospital E.R.
We didn’t really think my bleeding boobies would be the cause. Afterall, I’ve had two other refluxy babies and two other babies who played the “let’s destroy mommy’s nipples” game… And neither of them ever spit up blood like this. Mostly when I bleed, it gets mixed in with the milk and diluted, turning the milk pink. Think strawberry Quick. And Henry was quite the little vampire baby a few times, pulling away from my damaged breasts with blood dripping out of the corner of his little mouth. Think Volturi. But, never have I had one throw up blood like this. So, we were thinking it had to be something else. It was just blood. Bright red blood, no pinky milk spit up. Blood with a few “chunks” in it…
We worried and watched him all night that night, and more spit up, but no more bloody spit up. The pediatrician yesterday said he thought it was most likely blood from me, afterall. So, we took him home and we watched for more. He’s been fine, and after seeing what happened yesterday afternoon, we’re pretty sure it was from me afterall… I pumped a bottle of Hawaiian Punch. Seriously. It was that red… Avery seriously said it was a bottle of fruit juice. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.
So….. I am off the breastfeeding for a while, and on to pumping. Fun, fun. I think when my nips heal, since I seem to be a glutton for punishment, I’ll let him nurse a little while longer. Until he tears up my newly healed nipples and he starts vomitting blood or I start pumping Fruit Juicy Red… Then I’ll probably be ready to move on to some formula. So, see people, breastfeeding is not always best. So suck it. Or maybe not…
Read Full Post »