Archive for April, 2009

But, at least it’s hilarious…  Seriously fucking hilarious.  You’re gonna laugh your asses off… 

Texts from Last Night

I promise to try and spread some comment love today.  And possibly put up something funny of my own writing.  (No I’m not…  Who am I kidding?  I’m going to continue to lay on the couch in my pjs, amongst the clutter, and moan and groan waiting on the Mister to get home to baby me….) 

I suck.  Come on second trimester.  Please hurry it up.  Damn.


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I Knew It!

When dropping Avery off this morning, her teacher said she wanted a private word with mommy…  I thought, uh-oh…  But, she leaned in, with a giant grin on her face, and said, “I just wanted to tell you how proud we were of her Friday for sticking up to Sam.  I wanted to call you and tell you, but I never got around to it!  The other teachers asked me if I told you, and I said no, that Avery was listening…  But, we just wanted you to know that we were all very proud of her!” 

While it’s not okay to hit, at least she stood up to the bully and socked him good!  My little Rocky! 

She had Field Day today and I saw the Mister eyeing Sam the whole time…

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Yesterday was one of those days where I felt like all I did was get onto the kids…  Especially Avery.  I was not feeling well at all, and found myself on the couch most of the day begging them to be quiet… 

Anyway, I was not at my best and I had a very short fuse.  Avery got in trouble at school (for punching a little boy…  she’s not a hitter…  but, I have to say this little boy had it coming…  even the teacher had to hold back a bit of a snicker while getting onto her,  he’s constantly bullying her and others…) and then she got in trouble with me several times at home…  When she went to gymnastics and she and this other little boy started poking at each other (he stepped on her feet and she poked him in the stomach, etc…,) I’d hit my breaking point.

We got into the car and our conversation went something like this:

Me:  You cannot be unkind to anyone…  I don’t care what they were acting like or who started it.

Avery:  But, he…

Me:  No.  It doesn’t matter what he did.  You must be kind to others at all times.  If he was bothering you or not being nice, you should have told the teacher.

Avery:  But, he…

Me:  I know what he did.  And I saw what you did back.  It was not nice.  I am at my wit’s end.  I am going to start taking things away as punishment if this how you are going to act…

Avery:  Like what?

Me:  Toys…  Movies… Art supplies…

Avery:  (responding, with a flip of her hand,  like, oh, that’s all…  whatever…)  But, you’ll give them back.

Me:  (extremely frustrated at her nonchalant attitude)  No, ma’am.  They’ll be going in the trash.

Avery:  (with a look of panic, taking me a little more seriously)  Can’t you just spank me??

Me:  (rather taken aback by her response…)  NO!  I cannot just spank you.  Spanking doesn’t work!

Avery:  (thinking for a split second, then says, with shrug of her shoulders, like she had it all figured out…)  Well, then why don’t you just poke with me a sharp stick?

Me:  (staring at her in the rear-view mirror, mouth agape, trying very hard not to laugh…  seriously, what the hell???  a sharp stick??)  Um, NO.  I cannot poke you with a sharp stick

Avery:  Well, how about a soft rock?

So, there you have it everyone…  When your kids misbehave, all you have to do is either poke them with a sharp stick or a soft rock.  Why didn’t we think of that???  I’m so getting the Mister to sharpen a stick to a point and bringing it out the next time she gets in trouble. 

Oh wait, maybe that’s not a good idea, even if it is a joke.  Henry would inevitably find it and poke someone’s eyes out…

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I’m Still Here…

How many posts like this have I put up lately???  Please do return.  The first trimester is nearly over and, hopefully, I’ll be back to my old self…  Nausea and narcolepsy be gone!  Maybe I’ll try and come up with something worth reading to put up this afternoon…  We’ll see.  I’m not promising anything…

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And the Winner Is…

Only a day late…  About damned time, huh?

Congratulations!  Yay! 

That was fun!  We’ll have to do it again next year…  Thanks for participating, everyone.  And for making me feel extra super special loved.  That kicked ass. 

I’d also like to thank the water-logged and extremely tired Mister for helping me with my technical difficulties (that were most definitely not user error…)  Whew…  Thanks, Mister…  Now you can get back to the much more important job of figuring out what to do with a now destroyed office building…

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The winner has been drawn, via video, which will be up and running as soon as it will freaking upload.  DAMNIT.  Can’t it just be easy people?  Wait ’til you hear about the day we’ve had…  Seriously. 

Stay tuned.

ETA:  It will now have to wait until after gymnastics.  This has been one big CF of a day.  I’m having major technical difficulties…  After one hell of a day…  It started out with tornadoes and Mister’s office being destoryed.  Yes.  Destroyed.  Like most everything inside of it is completely ruined.  Everything…  Furniture, computers, years of work, etc…  Fun times.  Then I finally got home after running around town all day, and found that my printer wouldn’t work, so I had to hand write each commenters’ name for the entries…  More fun.  Then cut them out.  Wahoo.  THEN I can’t get my camera, or computer, or WordPress, to upload the damn video.  Then I can’t find my keys, the juice spills everywhere, I can’t find the kids’ shoes, I can’t find my checkbook, the car won’t start, and so on and so on and so on…  Well, that bit about the car isn’t true, but all the rest is…   Well, let’s hope it’s not…  I haven’t gotten back into it.  That would just be grrrrreat.  Anyway, you get the gist of it.  Just one of those days.  Damn….  A big one of those days. 

This has been one CF of a day.  It has sucked.  Big ones.  Big nasty, sweaty ones.  I apologize for the delay.  And I was so proud of myself for having it ready on time!  HA!  I think a screaming, cuss fest is in order. 

Sorry, my friends!  Be back in a bit. 

ETA Again:  And just as we are leaving the house, Henry pours OJ all over his head.  Niiiice. 

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That’s the time to be here, folks! 

Good luck!  The turnout has been freaking awesome and I can’t wait to see who wins!  And it’s not too late to do the whole panties on your head video for some extra entries…  Just sayin’.

See ya then!  Have a great Monday morn.

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