Okay, these interview questions came to me from Cristin, at Tiptoeing Through the Tulips. I love her madly and she seriously came up with some rocking questions for me…
1. What famous person’s house would you most like to decorate and why?
Martha Stewart’s, of course, so I could show that bitch how it’s really done.
2. If you had to choose between indoor plumbing and your internet connection, which would it be?
Oh my god, tough call. I actually don’t mind peeing in the woods. Not one bit. I’m an outdoorsy type… So, hmmm…. I guess the obvious question would be if my thousands of blog readers would actually allow me to give it up… I mean, there might be protests and shit. Massive complaints and petitions… Offers of money… No? Eh. Okay, I’ll keep it real.
Internet or indoor plumbing? Internet or indoor plumbing? Internet or indoor plumbing? Okay, I’d have to choose indoor plumbing simply for my kids’ sakes. I could soooo live without it. And while, living without internet would be a nightmarish hell, I need water. I’m already lazy enough… Could you imagine if I had to haul water to the tub or sink or to the kitchen for cooking?? We’d all have dreadlocks, rotten teeth and weigh 42 pounds.
3. If by some bizarre set of circumstances, an adorable but endangered jungle creature could be saved from extinction if you were to give the Mister a BJ every day for a month, would you save the little critter?
Yes. I’d suffer through the lockjaw and the quick gag reflex. (But, I’m sure by the end of the first week, I’d be rethinking this… I’d feel too guilty to stop. Would it work if I could pay someone else to give the Mister BJs???) I bet if the Mister happens to read this, he will try and figure out a way to save some little animal somewhere. If you do read this, Mister, I need PROOF that said animal actually does exist and that it is in fact about to become extinct. PROOF. And it better involve some vacation to the tropics. We’re talking a blow job. Daily. For a month. Welcome back, little animal… I’m going to Jamaica!
4. Avery is 16 and going to her first rock concert, do you tell her all the stuff you did at concerts in your youth?
Oh hell no. I don’t think I will EVER divulge the truth of my youth. Especially any stories that involve concerts… Maybe when she’s an adult I’ll tell her cleaned up versions of some of my stories. I’ve got some AWESOME (or scary as hell, depending on how you choose to look at it…) tales. You know what I mean… Sex, drugs, booze, teenage runaways being abducted by gun-wielding pimps and hookers and jumping out of moving cars, sex, drugs, booze… The usual concert stuff.
5. If you were offered the job of your dreams for so much money that the Mister could stay home and take care of the kids, would you switch roles and go back to work?
Hmmmm…. That’s a very good question. I’d like to think that being a stay-at-home mom has always been my dream job. I’ve wanted to do it since I was a little girl. However, if some super, ultra, uber cool and rich person offered me a job making a mill a year to keep their house decorated lovely, I’d have to consider it. If I had unlimited spending cash and no creative boundaries, I’d mull it over. Honestly, though, the truth is, I probably wouldn’t take it. The Mister loves what he does. And I love being at home. He’d never quit, even if we won ten gazillion trillion dollars. (Well, I don’t think he would. Maybe we’ll win the lottery and I can find out.) But, I may consider taking the job for a year. Especially if it was somewhere tropical. Where marijuana is legal.
Now, go read Cristin’s interview… And let me know if any of you want to play along!