Pervy Santa was given to us by my step-mother and it’s absolutely disturbing adorable… You push a button and he pulls his coat open to reveal his old, wrinkly genitals to unsuspecting little children his tummy opens up to reveal a little Christmas house that spins and it recites “The Night Before Christmas.”
The kids love it. When Henry first opened it, he would play with nothing else. He would make a big “O” with his mouth and point and jump up and down. It was seriously too freaking cute. But, if you view it from just the right angle…
My sister-in-law saw us laughing at something and looked over just in time, at just that perfect angle, to only see the Santa opening up his coat… And it looked like he was flashing us… She shrieked “Oh my god! What is he doing?!?!” We all got hysterical and he was dubbed “The Flasher.”
Dirty ole Santa… He can be such a lech sometimes. Mrs. Claus must put up with a lot… I bet she drinks tons of eggnog. Pervy bastard.