That was on the shirts of all the emergency room staff last night… I wound up staring with dagger eyes into the backs of those t-shirts, boring holes into them. Hoping they would remember that I was sitting there. And had been sitting there. Forever. For like five fucking hours ever. Seriously. For appendicitis. When they finally called my name, everyone around me cheered. I’d been there that long. For appendicitis.
Good thing I was not in excruciating pain. Or I’d have had someone in a headlock. It was quite an adventure. I don’t have appendicitis, btw…
I got there around 3:30ish pm and got home around 3ish am. I had to wait five hours to even be seen. Then had to have a cat scan. Which means I had to drink ten gallons of some nasty ass medicine, then wait two hours until I it could work its way through my system before I could even have the cat scan.
The Mister brought me some new, cute pajamas, a fresh thing of Purell, a magazine and a book and there I sat. In the ER. With an IV and my ten gallon jug of liquified tums. Yum Yum. The cat scan itself was pretty damn cool, actually, and my little nurse dude was hilarious. So, it wasn’t that bad of a visit, once I got back to a bed and out of the actual ER waiting room… With all the old folks, bloody wounds, broken bones and sneezing, snotty people… You know me and germs. I went through an entire package of Wet Ones before I got my Purell.
Anyway, no appendicitis. But, now I’m set up for an ultrasound to check for an ovarian cyst. I am bummed because that’s during Avery’s Christmas program tomorrow… That she’s singing in. And doesn’t know the words. I don’t want to miss it. But, you gotta do what ya gotta do.
I’ll fill you in on the gory details and share some funny stories from My Evening in the ER. Like the ancient little old man next to me yelling at his wife that “HELL NO IT’S NOT OKAY! I JUST SHIT MYSELF!” and the crazy lady that shook and had eyes that rolled back into her head and the dude with no shirt, covered from head to toe in white paint… Yeah, it was interesting.
But, at least I didn’t have to be admitted… And I don’t have appendicitis. Well, at least not an advanced enough of a case to see it on the cat scan… They said I could come back in three weeks with it again and have to have it out asap. Well, thanks… So, no appendicitis. As of yet.
OH, but after his good news of no appendicitis (yet,) he threw in there that I needed to follow up with my regular doctor, because they found some cysts on my liver. He said, when he saw the panic on my face, that it could be completely normal… Not to worry, that it is normal for some people… He totally misread me… I wasn’t thinking so much Oh my god, a cyst on my liver… I was thinking more along the lines of Oh holy hell, please don’t tell me that this is something that I would have to stop drinking over. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, let’s hope in either case it’s nothing major. And let’s especially hope I don’t have serosis.