Archive for September, 2008

Little Miss Grown Up…

I swear Avery just asked Baby Henry what in the world was wrong with him, was he drunk?  And isn’t three entirely too young to be saying that something is “fweakin'” her out???  What the hell is happening to my baby girl???

Holy hell, let me pray to all gods that will listen that she is better than I was.  Y’all think I drink now…  You have no idea.

ETA:  Here’s the little bad ass now…


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These Are Always Fun…

Let’s play a game of Ask Shannie Anything…  I may not answer, but I’ll try my best.  And I pinky swear to answer honestly. 

This should be fun…  Now, ask away!

(I love reading these on other blogs!  We can also play a round of Ask the Mister…  I think that’d be a great way for him to re-introduce himself, don’t you???  Especially after our little mishap last week.)

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The Random Tag…

Shannon, at More Wine Please, tagged me a few days ago…  And since I’ve got nuttin’ today, I’m doing it…  Although, I really do like tags.  I always find them interesting to read, but I have a hard time coming up with stuff for my own…  This one is supposed to be seven random/odd things about me…  So here ya go.  Can’t get much more random than this.

1.  The Mister never calls me Shannon.  He calls me Freddie, or Fred. 

2.  I only shave my legs when I have to… 

3.  I am addicted to my tweezers…  Seriously.  I tweeze several times a day…  Anytime I see a mirror.  Even in the car at redlights. 

4.  I’m an outdoorsy sort of gal…  I love to camp, hike, canoe…  And by camping I mean, packing in, no nearby facilities, in very remote, full of wildlife areas.  As a matter of fact, I’ve camped my way through Alaska.

5.  There’s almost nothing I like to eat more than pizza.  I eat it like three or four times a week…  Mostly I make little english muffin pizzas, but we do go out to get it or order delivery A LOT.  The delivery man usually comes into the house and visits with us…  And sometimes gives the kids stuffed animals.  That’s how much we order it…

6.  I’ve flown in a hot air balloon before…  And so want to do it again!  It was incredible.

7.  One time when the Mister and I were dating, I peed in the bed.  At his parents’ house…  Soaked him, the sheets, myself and the bed..  It was an air mattress and the pee puddled in all the little divets.  We were both soaked from our chests to our knees.  It was niiice.  I was dreaming I was peeing, and peeing, and peeing, and just let it go…  Everywhere.  So, we had to get up, find sheets, take showers, wash the mattress, the whole sha-bang.  Did I mention we were spending the night at his parents’ house?  Yeah, talk about embarrassing.

Okay, I’m tagging Dana, Laura, Mamahut, Lisa, Courtney, Robin & Sissy…  Do it if you want, gals!

P.S.  I’ve seriously been MIA lately…  I haven’t even been reading blogs…  So, let me apologize for my absence and slackness.  This afternoon, I am going to do some catching up on my peeps and some spreading of love.  And give you guys something worth reading.  I hope.

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Everyone’s Gym…

Try making a three year old understand that when you go to a birthday party at My Gym, you aren’t going to a birthday party at literally my gym…  As in Mommy’s gym… 

Anytime we go to My Gym for a party, she calls it Your Gym.  As in mine, like mommy’s…  I always laugh and tell her it’s not mine, it’s everybody’s…  That’s just the name of it.  It could be Bob’s Gym or Monkey’s Gym or anything.  The name of it is My Gym.

She seems to get it, but then still calls it Your Gym, when she talks to me about it…  As in, “Hey, Mommy!  That party is at your gym!”  I think we had sort of a break through yesterday, though. 

I explained that even when she says the name of it, she even says My Gym.  She acted like she was having a eureka moment and said “Oh!  I see!  That’s just the name of it!  Okay.” 

But then this morning she told both the Mister and me that she didn’t want to go to school because she had already seen all of her friends at Everyone’s Gym yesterday…. 

So, maybe not quite the eureka moment I thought.  But, at least she realizes that I don’t own a kids’ gym.   If I did, doesn’t she think her butt would be there all the time while I drank and shopped???

AND, now I have to talk her into going to school…

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Friday Search Term Fun

Here’s the link to last week’s… 

And today’s winners are:

henry hodini (learn.to.spell.)

japanese game show +rape (I’m so, so disappointed in these freaks.  And scared for society.)

buttgina (A brilliant term coined by none other than our very own Dr. G!  That has to be one of the funniest terms ever!  Here’s where I’ve used it…  Now see if you can work that into a sentence.)

best way to handle nosy neighbor (Tell them to kiss your ass. Or smoke.)

the nester (I am not…)

henry houdini’s house (Baby Damien is getting very popular!  But his house may soon be a tent in a gypsy camp.)

“please spank me mommy” (Okay, who’s the perv?)

japanese rape game show (This is just so disturbing12 hits from this…  I give up.)

henry houdini (14 of these for the week.)

monster shit blanket (What.the.Fuck?  Seriously, anyone???)

neighbor window naked (Another way to get rid of nosy neighbors…  Or to gain a stalker.)

shannie big (Big what?  Boobs, no…  Butt, maybe…  Drinking problem, yes…)

the pipe cleaner shannie (HA!  This is too funny!  I’m going to have to search this…)

mawnin (Suthun’ pronunciations..)

nosy neighbor keep them out (Can we keep them out???  Maybe put that in the covenants?  Like applications to live in the neighborhood and we get to do a previous neighborhood background check????  That’d be brilliant!  And save a lot of people from smoker’s lung…)

Okay, there they are.  Now let’s discuss…

P.S.  The Mister’s entry is up.  Look down…

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I Have To Please My People…

Sorry, Mister.  The people asked, so I shall deliver…

Okay, I really, really don’t think he thought I’d let it stay up, it’s BAD.  I made the first paragraph disappear, but I think you crafty bloggers can figure out how to read it…  The Mister’s reputation may get tarnished for this!  But, he asked for it!!!!  And, he really is normally shy and quiet (until you get to know him, or he gets drunk…)  He’s always funny, even when he’s playing shy and quiet…  And he does have a dirty little pervy streak, but he would never usually say shit like this…  Well, maybe to someone that knows him really, really well.  Especially if he was drunk.  But, whatever, it’s out there now.  Read and enjoy.  It was a fun night. 

Oh, and since someone who shall not be named outed the ole blog, ALLIE (my mother-in-law,) you may want to stop reading NOW.  Seriously.  Stop. 

A Drunkin’ Night with Freddie…

Why am I, the Mister, blogging?  Because I am getting the one thing I never get as we speak.  She almost made me wreck doing 90 down the highway, but what a night. 

The baby sitter will probably never come back, but it was worth it.  She ran out and about knocked me down.  She said the kids were great, but something must have scared her.  Maybe Avery told her we were auctioning BH to the gypsies, maybe she found all the beer bottles, maybe she looked at our internet history?  I don’t know but I doubt she will come back.

But all in all pretty good night.  We may only get a sitter every 6 months but I only get a BJ every 12.

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