Archive for August, 2008

To All My LA Friends…

And TX & MS, and everyone else that may be in Gustav’s way…  Take care and good luck.  GO AWAY, Gustav.  The poor NOLA folks do NOT need you. 

Thinking of all of you.


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Who AM I???

I’ve been gettin’ it done, folks… Scratching stuff off that to-do list (but still no bj for the Mister…)  I’m working on removing a border in the kitchen this morning.  I’ve already pulled it down and now I’m trying to get the glue off.  (NOT a fan of border, but the builder’s decorator put it up before I could tell them no…  It was an attractive border, as far as borders go, I guess…  But, I’m not a border enthusiast…) 

I worked on my table yesterday…  Almost done…  Sanded two of the chairs that are getting a nice black coat of paint to go with the table, too.  The table is going to look FAB.  The Mister worked on moving part of the sprinkler system for the giant deck that is being built starting Friday.  (YAY!)  Now, I have to finish removing the border, then I’m going to start sewing for the guestroom. 

Wow.  Who is this person?  I normally sit as idle as I can on the weekends…  Nothing like a party to give you a kick in the ass to get stuff done.  I’ll show you guys some befores and afters.

This afternoon our holiday festivities shall begin…  We were supposed to go have a big hoorah at the in-laws’ with the Gs, but that has been postponed til tomorrow.  However, we are still going out there today to visit with some family, and swill several beers.  So, let the gluttony commence! 

Happy Labor Day Weekend, my friends!

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Friday Search Term Fun

tiptoe through the tulips singing hippo (huh?)

back full swing (again, huh?)

hiphopopotamus (this shows up all the time, almost daily…  check it out herewatch the video.)

feel back about myself (does this make sense to you?)

grease and alcohol (of course grease absorbs alcohol.  we all know that.)

what absorbs alcohol? (grease, you dumbass.)

ass surgery round (okay, what the fuck does that mean?)

moose knuckle (here…  you just have see for yourself.)

schedule days of the week make (huh?  make what?)

japanese game show

japan rape game show (please tell me that’s not a real game show.  and whoever searched for it is a sicko…)


southern cheese toast (slap some cheese on some bread and toast it, people. there is no recipe.)

There are your search terms for today…  Ponder them, people, and let’s discuss.  Oh, and did you notice what wasn’t there…  Yep, nobody found me by searching for assass.  Oh, happy day!

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Happy Friday To You!

ERD Happy Dance…  And Looong Weekend Happy Dance… 

What all do you guys have planned for the weekend?  We have a whole lot of nothing.  Avery has a birthday party, but my mother-in-law is doing that…  Hopefully I can be semi-good and not totally blow my diet on dips and beer.  I’m such a sucker for dips and beer.  I’m sure we’ll just veg out at the lake and do some swimming, boating, skiing…  And be gluttons.  We’re sinners.  I embrace it. 

I do plan on finishing my table.  I’ll put the befores and afters up when I’m done.  We are having a Halloween Party the 25th of October and you should see my to-do list.  Hopefully, we can work on that…  Although, the Mister wrote “Give the Mister a blow job” on the list.  I don’t think we’ll be scratching that one off any time soon.  Sorry, Mister. 

So, let’s see what everybody has going on!  I love holiday weekends!!!!  YAY for reasons to celebrate.  (Meaning drink tons of beer and eat my ass off.)

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Avery just jumped out of my lap saying “OUCH! Mooooommmmyyyy, the hair on your legs hurtses me!” 

What.the.hell.is.up?  Matchbox cars down the plumber’s crack and now my legs are too hairy.  Guess I need to pay more attention to my looks.  Even if I never leave the house.  My three-year-old might notice.

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Recipe brought to you by Chef Princess Avery…









You must have a Fisher Price “Ball Wikch” to cook this delightful meal.  (No idea what that means…  As you can tell, Avery likes to make words up…  It’s some jungle house thing that you play with those roll-a-round balls with…) 

You take your ingredients and shove them all in the Ball Wikch, and Voila!  When it comes out the ball chute, you have a delicious Pwing-Won!  Serve and Enjoy!

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Time To Go Shopping…

It’s probably time for me to go buy myself some new clothes…  First clue was yesterday when every time I bent down or sat on the floor or whatever, Avery ran a matchbox car down my buttcrack.  I don’t know how she kept up with that little car all day long, but she did…  And every.single.time. she would drive it down my plumber’s crack.  Second clue was when I was going through some pictures on the computer and found several very flattering shots of my plumber’s crack, taken throughout the past few weeks, by the Mister.  Funny, funny man that he is… 

I am tossing all of my three pairs of pants that fit me into the trash.  (I guess they really don’t fit.  Especially since I’m not too much into the hip-hop mom look.)  They’re terribly annoying and I have to yank them up the entire day…  That and now worry that I’ll have toys thrust down my crack. 

So, shopping for new pants and figuring out a way to get the Mister back for all those pictures will be my goal this week…  (That and trying to not go insane from willful and crying children.  Thank god The Wine Man came today.)

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