If you do not stop driving by here slowly, I swear I am going to turn on the lights and stand by the window naked. That’ll give you something to talk about. Seriously.
What the hell are you trying to see? Aren’t you the least bit concerned that you might sprain your neck while twisting it and contorting it that way? Yes, we’ve done some work around the house. Yes, we have done some new things in the yard. Yes, we built a playground. Park, get out of your car, walk down the driveway, ring the doorbell and ask if you can take a yard tour. I might say yes. (But, don’t count on being asked in. Bitch.)
Your annoyed, and feeling slightly stalked, neighbor