Holy shit… I hate text messages… I hate them even more so now. I don’t know how to send one, and barely know how to even retrieve one… My phone was blinking that I had a message, so I checked it. It was a damned text message. So, I opened it. (After two or three tries…)
Surely, it was meant for someone else. I didn’t recognize the number and certainly didn’t recognize the asshole that was staring me in the face. A very lovely close up shot of a man’s asshole… With balls hanging and all… Very close up shot. From someone I don’t know…
Oh my. Just recalling that puckered up thing makes me want to gag… (And, maybe even giggle… Just a little…) And it looked like he was wearing a hospital gown. What the hell??? I’d hate to think that I went into the hospital and had to get pictures for some prostate or asshole procedure and they are now being text messaged all over the world. But, why else would he be in a hospital gown? Unless someone wanted to get some booty action before surgery and wanted to take a picture as a keep sake… Just in case they didn’t make it through…
So… After spitting out diet Dr. Pepper in the middle of swim lessons and looking around panicked to make sure that none of the moms or dads or KIDS saw, I saved it. I wish to hell I knew how to send it to myself in an email and post it here… Just so you guys can have the image burned into your eyes, as well… I read somewhere online a comment that someone made asking “don’t you wish you could unsee things??” Well, yes. Yes, I do. Most definitely.
After swim lessons, which went beautifully, although that little girl did actually throw up today, I called the number back… It went to v-mail, and I said “Um, hi… I am calling you back after recieving a lovely little text message of an, ummm…., erm…. an asshole… I really think it was intended for someone else, Terry. Just wanted to let you know. You may want to resend it.”
Fucking A… What a thing to do to someone… If you are going to send something like that, please make sure you have the correct number first.
Edited to add: Okay, upon closer inspection, maybe it isn’t a hospital gown… You be the judge. I’m just not sure anymore, and I cannot stare at it any longer. Here ya go… Lovely ass and some of the dangliest (is that a word???) balls I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Ack. That’s some nasty shit.
Edited again to add: Really, those balls should win some sort of award, don’t you think?