What is up with the psycho neighbor (aka The Clean Police, the one I blog about all the time…) driving by really slowly and staring at my house? Is she inspecting my yard for weeds? Maybe she has binoculars and is looking to see if I took her advice and cleaned up those spiderwebs on the front porch… I don’t know… But, whatever the reason, she needs to stop. Or at least do it when I am not home and can’t see her… Crazy bitch.
I usually try to kill her with fake, over the top kindness (like her own,) but I think maybe the stink eye will work better… I just don’t think she is getting the picture… DO NOT bother me. Flipping her off might work. She could still misinterpret the stink eye, like she misinterprets people running from her or closing their blinds when she knocks on their door. Flipping her off would definitely send the right message… What do you think? Even better, I could just do the whole neighborhood a favor and tell her that she annoys the piss out of everyone and I don’t know one single person that doesn’t avoid her.
I’m still running against her for President. I swear I am.
And, since we are on the subject of crazy, annoying neighbors that need to get a life… Yoohoo, the other psycho lady, QUIT calling me to bitch about the above crazy neighbor. She is a bitch to everyone… That’s her nature. Everything she does and says to you does not need to be analyzed and picked apart. Yes, she is being a bitch. No, she doesn’t like you. Get over it.
Can’t I just live in peace in my happy little world? Without the two of you interrupting my day with your insanity and obnoxiousness… Please?
Thanks. That feels better.