Seriously, I’ve thought about putting him the paper… Or maybe craigslist… Maybe I can pin a note to him, put him in a moses basket and go leave him on some rich person’s doorstep. I’m at a loss as to what to do with him. I mean, I can totally see how crazy folks might snap and shake a baby.
He has woken up at either 1:30AM, 3:30 or 4:30AM, sometimes all three and sometimes he wakes up at 1:30 and stays up until 4:30, or 5:30. Not up and playing, up and S.C.R.E.A.M.I.N.G. And, I’m not talking about the fussy cry, I’m talking the ear-piercing, screeching cry. We have not had a full night’s sleep in two or three weeks. Maybe even a month. Used to, we could at least get a good night’s sleep in there every third night or so. But, noooo, not anymore.
And, I’m not talking just some interrupted sleep, where you just go pop a paci back in his mouth and he settles back down… I’m talking the majority of our sleeping hours are spent either trying to soothe him or holding a pillow over our heads to drown him out. Nothing makes it stop. No amount of soothing, shushing, rocking. He wakes up and it pisses him off. He’s up and pitching a fit like a mad man.
So, what should I put on the note? “Cute baby, smiles a lot, super fast crawler…” Definitely NOT that he turns into a monster at midnight. He is so happy and cuddly and smiley during the day. Why does he transform into The Howler at night? With super human strengths? Like he can seriously launch himself out of your arms. It’s like he is using an invisible pole vault… You better have a tight grip on him when he is in monster mode. And, those screams. Those can’t possibly be made by a mere human. And, the crawling thing… Maybe he really is a baby super hero. And the night is when he feels the urge to go out and save the world. Or cause madness and mayhem…
Maybe I really should find some baby olympics or contests and enter him. He crawls so fast, it almost looks abnormal. Like a blur… Like when Super Man moves at warp speed. You know what I’m talking about. A super hero baby crawl. It’s bizarre. If he entered, and won some money, I might be willing to overlook the sleepless nights… It would have to be a hell of a lot, though…
Seriously, any ideas on how to make him sleep???? We decided to let him CIO (Cry it out, for all of you non-parent people… And, don’t give me any shit if you are against it… I have mixed feelings about it myself, but there comes a point when you will try anything. It’s a hot topic among the mommy crowd. Especially on BBC…) He just cried forever and we caved. We’ve done that twice. How long do you let it go on? Is he too young to drug? Seriously… I’ve even considered finding a drug dealer that deals in baby goods (along with some fun stuff for mommy) and getting him some paragoric. That should do it, right????
I need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.