I think I’m going to make campaign signs and post them all over the neighborhood today… Or can I make anti-campaign signs? What would that be called? I’m rallying against a certain neighbor that I am more than positive will try and get nominated as president of our brand new neighborhood association. We should have started campaigning two weeks ago… Or anti-campaigning.
Either the Mister or I would make excellent choices. Although, I am a bit lazy and a big procrastinator… Maybe we should just nominate him… And, any number of other neighbors would do a fine job. Just not her. She is such a catty, judgemental bitch (I’ve talked about her more than once here…) And would impose crazy awful rules and would make people feel like crap and hurt feelings. She would be a control freak, she totally is in her own life… Napoleon Syndrome at its worst.
I’m all for enforcing the covenants, but she always complains about crazy shit and I know she would try and make everyone do crap like take your trashcan in within ten minutes of trash pickup, no home or yard decoration of any kind, even on holidays, no public drunkenness, no yardwork on Sundays, no spiderwebs allowed to accumulate on your front porch… Shit like that… And, to people who don’t know the true her, they might fall for her false, sugary sweet, do-gooder facade… Sure, she may seem nice, but trust me, her default is bitch.
We’ve been in this neighborhood since it’s beginning, way before she moved here, and I have seen all of the drama that surrounds her and that she has caused over the past couple of years.. And, I’m not the only one keeping a tally. All of us that have been here for a while know to steer clear of her. There was no drama before she got here. None. But, there are tons of new folks. They are the ones we have to reach… She’ll be knocking on doors with fresh baked cookies and then leaving to report that their homes were messy or that their kids were drinking straight juice or that there was no way they could possibly afford that house… To everyone.
Anyway, I’m on a mission. I’m getting some poster board, borrowing Avery’s markers and getting the staple gun out. Today. I may even make some buttons to wear. You know I mean business if I’m willing to nominate myself… Like I have the time, energy or desire to be the president. BUT, I’d rather give up precious play, t.v. or drinking time than have her as the commander-in-chief of our neighborhood.