Tonight is bunko, or drunko as the Mister likes to call it… It’s really just an excuse for some of us girls to get together and eat and drink and laugh and say fuck a lot… It’s a dice game that takes no skill whatsoever. And the more you drink, the funner it is. You also have a chance to win some money. We all put $10.00 in the pot and there are 12 ladies. However, because we have a few gals that have the ‘everyone deserves to win, everybody should get a trophy’ mentality, we split the pot waaaay too many damn times.
I’ve played for years and we used to split it two ways. That was GREAT. You could win $80.00 or $40.00. Now, we have like six splits. Seriously. Maybe even more… If you were looking to win some money, then this group is not the group for you. It sucks. There is even a “loser roll-off” where everyone who didn’t win something gets a chance at $5.00. Come on. Life isn’t fair. Sometimes people win, sometimes people lose. Sometimes people excel at things and are just better than others. Or work hard and get better… They DESERVE the fucking trophy. You shouldn’t have to share your win. I think a few of us are about to form a coup and take over and restructure this friendly little politically correct group. We’re gonna shake that shit up. Those little pansy asses are going down…
And, not splitting the pot isn’t the only problem with this group… The fun is slowly being drained away… Every month someone gets offended by something, gets their feelings hurt or says or does something shitty to someone else. There is always drama. (And it usually revolves around the same one or two people…) I don’t want to be politically correct or censor myself or worry who I am offending with my potty mouth when I am with my girlfriends, ya know? It also sucks to have your very precious and rare girls’ night tarnished by drama. And, by god, I want to win some damn money! I never win and when I finally do, I only get my measly $10.00 back. What kind of shit is that?!?!?
The dynamics of this group have changed so much over the four years we’ve been together. It’s really time to reassess and make some major changes. Maybe even form two groups. The laid back, good time havin’ group and the stuck up, stick in the mud group… It used to be a lot of crazy fun. And, it used to be all of my closest friends. Now, it’s an odd mix. A very odd mix… My how time changes things.
Let’s see… We have:
The seriously judgemental, gossip that talks about whoever it is she is not around at the moment. She also loves to try and make you feel badly about yourself. Oh, and she is a total name dropper, pretending to know even god. I fear that, not only does she “know” everyone, she knows their bank account passwords and their social security numbers… The Mister swears she has everyone’s phones tapped. Total snoop… She is almost pure evil and her husband and children live in fear. I could go on about her forever… She’s a peach.
There’s the nosy bitch that worries constantly about what people say and think and obsesses way too much about what above bitch thinks of her. She also loves to try and make people feel badly about themselves, pointing out any and all minor imperfections in you or the cleanliness of your house…
(Both above gems are also know-it-alls, making it even worse…)
There’s not only one, but two, prissy pants moral policewomen secretly looking down at everyone and judging their godliness and parenting skills.
There’s the beauty queen that is always dressed to the nines and has perfect hair. For bunko.
There are also a couple of just plain ol’ goody two shoes, who are easily offended and just taken aback by bad language, sex talk and drunkeness… I’ve never heard these women cuss…
There is the one that gets out of control and tells wild, detailed, waaaay tmi stories about her life. Especially her sex life. Sorry, I don’t need to know that much about you or your boyfriend. Your Suzie and exactly how you like her stroked, is not something I want described to me in detail. However, even with major overshares, she’s still pretty funny.
Then there’s the rest of us… Ready to have a drink, say whatever in the hell we want to and win some damn money. Give me a for real girls’ night, please! I don’t get them often enough. I want to make them count. I swear we are going to be gathering up the troops and taking our getting hammered and talking smack night back. Just you wait!