Avery has decided that she is very much against Henry’s upcoming procedure. She does not like the idea of him going to the hospital or anyone cutting on his ears. She has talked about it incessantly. Yesterday she said she did not want his eaws to be cut and have howles in dem. I told her it was okay, it would be quick and easy and brother would be home before she knew it. She was quiet for a minute and then asks “Wellll, it’s because of his eaw infwections, wight?” I tell her yes. She thinks for another minute and then says “Thewe! Cut, cut, cut (wielding an invisible knife.) I cut his infwections out of his eaws. Now he doesn’t have to go get howles.”
She thinks she’s nervous… I know it’s a quick and easy procedure, but I can’t help but worry about my little man. And, I know he is going to scream when they take him away from me. It will be traumatic. Mister Man and I are taking him at 5:30 in the morning and he is scheduled to go first. Someone, please tell me it will be okay!!!!
We went yesterday afternoon to pre-register at the hospital. Wow. If you ever want to people watch, go to the hospital. There are some scary ass folks there. It’s a good hospital, but it is the one that provides indigent care… And, the surgery center had a ton of freaks in there. Even holding an over-tired, fussy baby, I was still well entertained.
Not only were the freaks out, but they brought their friends and family, too. The woman with the whiz-eye, no teeth and matted hair had her friend with a walking cast on one leg, a couple of curlers in her hair and crazy lipstick that she had to have applied in the dark with her to keep her company. The creepy man that hung out in the corner and stared at you had his equally as creepy pudgy little friend that kept mumbling under his breath, neither of which spoke to or looked at each other the entire time. There was the family of five that took up all the chairs, laughing hysterically and loudly carrying on about their cousin Boo-Boo. I know entirely too much about Boo-Boo. There was the cat-pee lady and her loudly breathing, wheezing friend in a neck brace. Oh, and there was this lady that grinned like the cheshire cat the entire time, waving at you and asking everyone what they were there for… She had her neighbor, Kipper, with her. And, Kipper looked like she has been hitting the sauce since noon, at least. You get the picture.
It was actually very interesting if you like to people watch, which I do. Good thing, or I would have been highly annoyed. I stood there holding Baby Henry for two hours listening to the misadventures of Boo-Boo (who as far as I can tell truly deserves to be in prison…) and avoiding the stare of the creepy dude. There were also a few normal people sitting in there, reading, or pretending to flip through magazines while they peered over the top at the crazies, or clutching their purses tightly looking scared… They weren’t ALL weirdos.
It was an interesting trip. When we finally got called on and went to the back to do Henry’s preliminary stuff, they gave me the run-down and showed me where we will go, where he will be, etc… It made me feel a bit better, but at the same time, scared me even more than I already was. He can’t eat or drink after midnight, which is no big deal, but they said it may be eight hours before he can. EIGHT HOURS??? Are you kidding me? The surgery is first thing in the morning. We have to be there at 5:30AM. And, we are scheduled to go first… She said that sometimes it takes only 2-4 hours, but be prepared for 8. Oh man, Henry is going to be one pissed off little baby. She also told me to give him something to make him sleep the night before… That it was okay to give him a little paragoric if I had it. Huh? Isn’t that an illegal opiate? Was she suggesting that I go find some drug dealer specializing in baby meds and get some smuggled in baby opium???? Besides, that’s what parents gave us when we were little, and it was still legal, and I know some pretty messed up people. I’m not taking any chances, even if I could find some black market baby drugs. My kids have enough to overcome just from their genetics.
Maybe I will go find a dealer, though. Not for infant heroine, but for some mommy’s little helpers… Tomorrow is going to be a very long day. Poor Baby. At least my mom is coming for the rest of the week to help out.