I think I’ve been kind of a Debbie Downer lately… I’m usually not that way. I have been stressed and truly think I need medication. Truly. And, maybe it should be something of the daily maintenance variety, not the as-needed stuff. (Although, the as-needed stuff will still be welcomed, and ingested…) Maybe the doc and I need to talk about this…. I had him all ready to write an rx for Xanax, but told him to hold off until my next appt. (He is not one to give scripts lightly, and I didn’t want to seem eager…) I really do have a pretty dang good life and am really blessed, but my anxiety level has skyrocketed lately and I do not like it. The Mister would surely agree.
Drinking is no longer the answer because I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn with the kids and the older I get, the more I drag… Hangovers aren’t the same anymore. You can’t sleep it off when you’re a mommy. Plus, no amount of water or tylenol helps when you have screaming children. And, you can’t eat a hamburger and french fries (because we all know the grease absorbs the alcohol) when you have baby weight to get rid of. Plus, my metabolism changed when I hit 30 (four stinkin’ years ago…) and I just can’t eat and drink whatever in the hell I want to anymore, anyway. I actually have to WORK to keep it off. Yuck. Who wants that. Also, I guess it’s not good for the kiddos to have an alky mom…
So…. I’m asking for meds. If we lived in California, I’d be asking for a script of some sweet KB, but since I’m not, Zoloft here I come… I may be just a tad sentimental tonight, too, as I’m alone (and if you didn’t know, I detestbeing alone. I’ll explain more later…,) and, since there is nothing on t.v., I’m watching The Prisoner of Azkaban. If you are a Harry Potter fan, you know the mournful feeling I have tonight as I watch this movie for the zillionth time… I need Zoloft just to help with the HP withdrawals. If you aren’t a fan, you just don’t understand. Nor, do you know what you are missing. Actually, in all honesty, I kind of can’t help but feel sorry for all the people that haven’t experienced the amazingly intricate, magical brilliance that is the world of Harry Potter and Hogwarts. I want to live there. Really. If we could go tomorrow, I’d pack my kids up and we would all move there. The Mister and I could teach and the kids would grow up knowing what acromantulas and bowtruckles are and looking forward to being of age, not so that they can drive, but so that they can apparate.
Okay, so as I cry in my beer for the disappearance of the magical HP world, I am also stuffing myself full of frozen pizza. A frozen five cheese pizza that I loaded up with pepperoni, purple onion and jalapenos. I am finishing the very last piece. Of the whole, entire pizza. Call me a glutton. I can’t help it when I drink beer. I have to eat. And it has to be fattening. Especially since I am starting a diet tomorrow. (I have said that for the past two weekends.) I better eat something sweet, too. Tomorrow, seriously, I am starving myself to get rid of this baby weight I am still carrying. The paunch will have to wait for the plastic surgeon….
Hang on… Beer run….. (Oh, and my sweet and delicious friend, I am drinking one for you!)
So, it’s now 10:45 and I still haven’t heard from Mista. Oh, wait, there’s the phone… And, it’s him…. He’s probably been at the strip club. Well, he says he’s been stuck in traffic, blah, blah, blah… Henry is still crying and Avery was a pill tonight, so he is feeling badly. Avery got home from Sophie’s and, as I was walking Mrs. D. to the door, we hear “GOOD JOB, HENWY!” We look at each other like “oh shit” and run into the breakfast room to find Avery had picked up where I left off in feeding carrots to the baby. Then she turned into an overtired monster. It’s great that daddy does bedtime, but when he is out of town, it makes for a bad goodnight. Mommy does nothing right. And I have to do everything over. Two or three times. She did go to sleep, which is more than I can say for Henry. He keeps waking up and screaming. I go in there and he is all sideways and screaming his head off. Maybe he’ll stay asleep at some point.
(I keep getting sidetracked by those mischievous wizards…)
Let’s hope Henry does go to sleep. He stayed up until 1:00 last night. I don’t fare well by myself and would really like to barricade myself in my bedroom and get cozy in the bed. I finally met someone with my weird phobia, too, and she lives down the street… When I am alone, I absolutely cannot sleep. I will turn on all the lights, inside and out, turn on the t.v., turn the alarm on, put the cell phone and the cordless phone and car keys in the bed and tie the doors shut to the hallway to our side of the house…. Yes, you read that right, I will tie the doors shut… We have double doors that open up from the hallway on that side of the house into the living room. I pull them two and tie them shut with something. It makes me feel better and makes me think I will have more time to get my kids and call 911. They will spend a minute or so rattling the doors, don’t you think??? Anyway, the neighbor and I had a great laugh over this… Not only does she do some of these same things, she also stays up until 4am when alone because that’s the latest we both feel that a burglar would break in…. I mean, people could wake up for work at 5:00 and an hour just isn’t enough time for a burglar, so we feel like if we stay up until 4, we’re golden. The Universal Burglar Cut-Off Time… Dumb, huh?
Anyway, I am ready for bed, happy children and happy pills… Please, let us all sleep well tonight and wake up in the grandest of moods. Maybe I can cast a potronus against burglars? A cleidsdale, perhaps??? (Totally not a Bud girl, but that’s the first beer-related animal that came to mind…) Oooh, and I totally now know what a PedEgg is… Just saw it on and infomercial…. I’ve been so out of the loop lately.